Comfortable in Your Clothes

I wrote a piece with this same title elsewhere a zillion years ago, I don't know where, and it would no longer be online. I was trying to support an extremely abused MtF trans youth and she just was desperate to beat herself up. 

She kept aspiring to looks she had no hope of achieving in a hobby that screamed "I see myself as fundamentally UGLY and nothing will ever change that." And when I tried to suggest putting safety first and supporting her budding breasts with tank tops to transition slowly, she rejected that. She was desperate to have girly girl clothes and having breasts wasn't feeling girly enough and she wanted a BRA damn it, though it might get her killed.

So me trying to offer loving gentle support to help her achieve her goals while not torturing her and not insisting she risk her life unnecessarily if she REALLY believed she was a girl or whatever had her screaming at me and it kind of looked like this scene from a movie called Kinky Boots:
I beg to differ. Make me comfy or get the hell out of my life, but most of the world vehemently disagrees with me and all women everywhere are encouraged to suffer for their art of trying to be a beautiful woman.  

Genevieve didn't like my ideas about being comfortable in your clothes. She wanted to be beautiful and femme and as miserable as humanly possible because that's what being a woman is all about and everyone knows it!

I already know absolutely no one wants my business casual wardrobes to help you make life less miserable as an office drone. Women want to be SEXY and absolutely miserable every step of the way and to hell with promotions and being taken seriously or having time for a life or whatever. 

No, dress me like a whore, ruin my back with high heels I can't walk in and then let me scream about how you won't promote me because you are a sexist pig is the only thing women want.

They adamantly do not want to be comfortable in their clothes. I know that. 

So I strongly minimize my real motivation of being healthy and functional in spite of my debilitating and incurable medical condition while looking socially acceptable because that's crazy talk.

I mean comfortable is already crazy talk. Women don't do that. Clothes that supports actual health is straight up inconceivable. 

I do talk about it some. On Raison D'Etre I mention that I suffer edema and can gain or lose a dress size overnight. 

But with searching the site, to my surprise, I cannot readily find the explicit statement that my reason for living in knits, like men's t-shirts and sweatpants, is because I suffer edema and can gain or lose a dress size overnight. 

I kept my hair extremely short, like a military recruit, for over a decade because having hair used to make me sick. My hair is still short but longer than that. When I develop turkey wattle, it's time for a haircut.

So I cut my hair and within 48 hours I lose the turkey wattle and look 5 to 10 years younger and this involves that fluid going elsewhere first before it fully resolves. Which involves gaining and then losing a size overnight. 

I've had multiple relatives with mastectomies who had trouble finding bras that weren't torture because of the scar tissue.

I have substantial scarring on both feet and can no longer walk in high heels. I talk about Shoes elsewhere. 

I currently wear rubbery crocs most of the time. They are ugly and not leather.

I've done substantial research and gotten healthier when that's not supposed to be possible.  My condition predisposes me to getting easily shocked and here's where I lose my audience: Dietary changes and sleeping in a tent with little between me and the ground has helped largely resolve that issue. 

Guess what else helps? Real leather footwear.

It keeps you electrically grounded.


I'm an environmental studies major. My research indicates we won't save the planet by planting trees but we probably can if we restore the 85 percent of wetlands we've destroyed since the 1700s.

That's the exact same time frame we talk about the industrial revolution and blame all environmental damage on "improving quality of life" via industrialization. 

Wetlands store far more carbon than trees, we've done substantially more harm to wetlands than to forests. No one cares what I think about that and I sure as hell don't care what you think.

I want natural materials like cotton and silk and leather shoes. For my health and so I can be comfortable. 

I do plenty of work on saving this cesspit of a planet, such as Eclogiselle. I'm one person. I'm not going to singlehandedly save planet Earth and I have no traction. 

But I'm not apologizing for wanting a nice life for a few years before I check out of here and I don't believe I need to suffer to have ethics and only eat or dress vegan. I'm supposed to require $250,000 a year in medical care and I don't. 

I sleep just fine. My conscience is clear. I've done the research. I've published it online for free with zero gatekeeping. If you can get internet access and read English, you can read my writing.

But I'm a woman so fuck me because sex is all we're good for. Whatever. Get off my lawn.

So I want clothes for political reasons and medical reasons that don't torture me and don't make me look like a whore. I probably can't get them and will likely continue living in men's t-shirts and sweatpants and being poor.

Yes, this project is more deranged by your mental models than you ever imagined. 

Last, ordering online has the potential to be cleaner than shopping in person. Maybe you've heard of covid? I'm trying to build a world based on "NEVER AGAIN" for global pandemics.