The Devil went down to Georgia

Why would the devil be in Georgia looking for a soul to steal? He's probably got a second home there because it's about as hot as hell and three times more humid.

If you search YouTube for "when it finally gets cold in the South" you can see stuff like this and this and this. They line up somewhat with my quips about "If you get a single snowflake in Georgia, they declare a national emergency and shut down the entire state." or "We only need a REAL winter coat maybe three days out of the year IF there's an unusual cold snap."

One of my criticisms of the US fashion industry is that publications come almost entirely from our two biggest cities: New York and Los Angeles.

Los Angeles is hot, but I've lived near there and it's a dry heat. It's vastly more challenging to stay comfortable and functional in hot, humid weather than in hot, dry weather.

This is not just perception. Discussions of climate change frequently focus on wet bulb temperature as an important metric of when people start dying. Humidity is a significant factor in determining when it's too hot for humans to keep living.

How do you dress conservative in sweltering, muggy weather? Those publications have absolutely no idea how you do that. NONE.

1. Materials matter.

Cotton, linen, silk and other natural materials are breathable and help you not faint dead away from heat prostration.

When I gave my older sister some of my suits when I was seventeen, one was a linen suit. She loved wearing that suit to the office in summer because it was so much more comfortable than anything else she owned.

Downside: She had to iron it first and would cuss the entire time.

2. Vests instead of jackets as your top layer.

My sister and I were just girls, but mom provided us with a lot of vests as a top later option. She tended to give us looser, longer vests, so I'm not talking about the sexed up skin tight fitted men's wear vests as sexy clothes for women.

My sister was in high school in the 70s and shorts with long vests was a trend at that time. Mom sewed her a lot of outfits of that sort.

Shorts with a winter jacket or sweatshirt is somewhat common in some places, like San Diego, California. I've never figured out exactly what climate that works in nor why nor who wears that or where they come up with that idea.

They seem to trend towards dry climates. That combination is not something I ever saw in Georgia.

3. Choose wisely.

I don't know what to call this section. The Deep South is very religious, so you see women in conservative dresses for attending church in summer.

In California, I once saw someone in a dress like that and it was a pale material. With bright sunlight behind her, you could see everything under her dress.

I don't recall ever seeing that in Georgia. 

If you choose some gauzy dress in 100 percent cotton in a pale color, you probably need a slip to actually be prim, proper and covered up. That's a good way to faint dead away in 100 degree weather with 100 percent humidity.

I learned to wear clothes that gave me adequate visual cover without needing a slip.

For me, this included cotton knit dresses and skirts that naturally have ventilation because it's not a solid material but it's thicker than your typical summer cotton stuff, so you don't need a slip.

4. Unlined suits or suit jackets.

When I traded clothes with my sister, I kept an unlined white cotton jacket. It was a fairly loose, casual style but would have been fine for a business casual dress code.

The suit I wore to work my first day on the job that had my manager giving me the stink eye was an unlined cotton jacket and matching pants. I wore it to stay comfortable in hot weather while complying with a dress code that required me to wear a jacket.

It was a business casual dress code. Most of my colleagues were in some jacket tossed over whatever pants and top they put on. They weren't typically wearing suits.

So I read as much more business formal. But I was just trying to be comfortable in hot, humid weather.

5. You can wear a strappy dress and cover it up.

I asked about this at my corporate job. I was told as long as I kept my sweater on, I could wear a strappy dress and not be hassled about it.

I had bought some gorgeous silk dresses in patterns and they all came with some unusual matching see-through silk cover like for a dinner date. I bought unpatterned cardigan sweaters in matching colors to make these dresses office appropriate.

Remember: It's not the heat. It's the stupidity.

If you need to dress for that kind of weather, you may not be getting the information and examples you need from people living in New York or Los Angeles.

I wish we had regional publications that gave style advice appropriate to the climate in question. Because I spent my youth baffled and frustrated at endless articles about what kind of winter coat was trendy this year when I didn't really need a serious winter coat.

Like why is this something super important to these people? I don't get it.

For the three days a year you get serious cold in Georgia, you pile on extra layers and get on with life. So I never understood why fashion magazines had an annual tradition of going on at length about this like it was an important expenditure and important to get right.

It made me feel like I was doing something wrong and couldn't get fashion right when the truth is I just didn't need that kind of coat, couldn't find that kind of coat in local stores and viewed it as a ridiculously expensive item that I couldn't justify spending that kind of money on.